This last September we hit the one year mark that Aiden got diagnosed with diabetes. It will for sure be a day that I will never forget, and while there has been ups and down we are going well. I am grateful that he never went into DKA or a coma to find out he had diabetes. I have heard many of stories of how scary that can be. Like I said there are some good days and some bad, and then there are the really really bad days. The good days are when his A1C is under 9. Sure a 5-8 is great but I would be happy with a 9 too. Then there are bad days where his blood is too high and we just can’t understand why it will not come down. Or his blood sugar is too low and we are trying to bring it up.
Then there are days like today, where his blood is a little low but your six year old tells you he feels like he is dying. Thoughts are the words that will haunt you in your dreams. Where your sweet child says he feels like he is going to die. Like he is dying right now.
Sometimes I forget how scary diabetes can be. I mean I feel like I have it lucky, we do great with his numbers. But sometimes I have to take a step back and remember his life is in my hands every time he wants to eat. If I give him to much medicine he can slip into a low and die. If I don’t give him enough then he can get to high and go into DKA and slip into a coma. Its a fine line to walk all day every day.
Look I am not trying to do the woe is me, just trying to get some of my feeling out. Its not like I can break down in front of him. I have to be the strong one.